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Sunday 9 September 2012

Dear Diary

"I just came back from shopping with the girls, and I just happened to bump into that annoying sales assistant again and what did she have to say?… “Oh my skinny friend, how are you doing today?…” Your skinny friend!?! Firstly, I am not her friend. Secondly, how dare she talk to me like that?! I do not understand why this woman must persistently make remarks about how thin I am, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME she sees me.

I can't take this anymore - people constantly providing commentary on my life and how I look.
Well, she won’t be seeing me anywhere near that shop again, because I simply cannot stand her. I just do not know how long this is going to last! I do not know what to do! Am I ever going to grow bigger? Can you believe I am even subjected to shopping in the kiddies section? Come on! The kiddies section at 16?

Why do I have the straight shape of a boy? I want a body with an hour-glass shape. Nice curves; like the one N has. Those curves that get all the boys acting like putty in her hands, she got them swooning all over her like bees on a honeycomb. Why can’t I get that kind of attention? It’s just not fair. I’m in the right crew, tick all the right boxes…so it is all down to this frigging body, and let us not talk about the fact that my nose seems to be on steroids, growing bigger by the day.

I am not asking for much, just to be a bit more plump so that my clothes fit as they should - maybe fuller thighs with the perfect butt - so that I can rock those jeans just lying in my closet; too scared to wear them before more people get a glimpse of just how thin I am. I want to punch something, someone. I am so angry, this just isn’t right and life is not fair!"



As I reflect upon these notes carelessly jotted down so long ago, notes filled with the emotional pain of that period, notes scribbled into a tiny scrap book, nicely hidden underneath the crevices of my bed. I remember that this was my past and just like the diary, my past with its agonising experiences were temporary and short lived.
I must now irrevocably press forward because the prize of living a good and fulfilling life far outweigh living the life of an entry from the dear diary of my past!

Feel free to watch the accompanying blog below:




4 comments:

  1. thanks for telling me about this today just the word i needed,you were really talking to me so much i want to do but the fear of stepping out, i really need to take the but and ifs out of the equation..... hum.
    K.

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  2. That's it! Once we make the quality decision & we act on it: we will see huge changes (then you will wonder why you didn't make that bold step in the first place).
    Don't waste the potential in you :)

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  3. Pst. Olabode Patrick Omisade3 September 2013 at 08:36

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