In light of what has been happening in Libya and many other
countries around the world, I thought I should make this video to
shed light on what you can do, especially if you are feeling helpless at this
time.
As a follow on from my previous blog post ‘The Pineapple…’ I thought I
should share my thoughts on the destructive nature of beauty comparison through
the illustration of three birds.
~
The Swan, Peacock and Flamingo are three very different yet
beautiful birds.
The individual uniqueness of their physical appearance sets
them apart and without competing with each other, they continue to display
their own distinct splendour.
The swan is graceful in the way she conveys herself and
serene in character.
The peacock, magnificent with her intricate detail of
pretty vibrant feathers and secure in knowing who she is and what she carries.
The Flamingo, who not only embodies elegance and femininity, is also balanced
in her stand and well poised.
Earlier this year marked 5 years from when I uploaded my very first video 'Let the journey begin', onto YouTube. So for me, that marked the start of my confidence building and living journey and me truly embracing my purpose in life. Please watch the video below to see what I have learnt and what I am most grateful for.
"Be a pineapple.
Stand tall, wear a crown and be sweet on the inside".
A few years back, I came across the above statement and immediately
embraced it as a statement that with a few tweaks I could adopt as one of my
personal mantras.
Here’s my version:
“Like a
pineapple. Stand tall, wear a crown, have
tough skin but be sweet and soft on the inside”.
This symbolism of the pineapple represents a big part of
what confident living means to me and below is a breakdown of each section,
which I hope inspires you as much as it does me.
Stand Tall:
For someone who measures a mere but mighty 5”2 (.5 to be precise 😀),
tall is not a word you would use to describe me. But you see, it’s not about
what you and I see on the outside, but how I feel about myself on the inside
that will eventually project outwards.
I was so used to hiding, being in the shadows and not wanting to
be seen, that it eventually affected how I carried myself and interacted with
people.
However, like many other things, I have been actively changing my
past fear driven behaviour by pushing boundaries, standing up for myself, saying
‘no’ when I want to say no and not ‘yes’ just to please, making eye contact,
trying to start and hold a conversation past one liners and doing things
outside of my comfort zone, that although may be uncomfortable; will ultimately
cause me to grow.
All of these courageous acts have come about by knowing who I am in
Christ and standing ‘firm’ in my faith and belief, that through Him all
things are possible.
Wear a Crown:
I am royalty. No further explanation needed. I will no
longer apologise for who I was created to be and the life I have been called to
live, regardless of how many feathers I ruffle.
Without being pompous, I will remain confident in my own
skin and my beauty.
So allow me to take a few seconds to straighten my crown and
walk with my ‘Head Held High’.
Have tough skin:
Not only does this bare resemblance to the skin of a
pineapple, but it also resonates so much with where I am coming from.
Tough skin has enabled me to weather the storms of life and continue
to do so. It will also prevent me from taking to heart negative criticism,
people’s rejection, misunderstandings or just plain hate.
There is too much at stake for me to continue to fester on
the piercing arrows of peoples wounding words, as I’ve spent years trying to
heal from the past.
In addition, just like the skin of a pineapple, you may look
at my outward appearance and not think much of me or what I may have to offer;
but I know how good, what lies within.
Sweet and soft on the inside:
Loving, kind and generous are all words I want to be
described as. These attributes will continue to make me sweet on the inside,
pleasing to my Heavenly Father and a delight to those around me.
I want to give so much of myself to helping and loving
others that my actions alone exuberate love.
So I’m lovin’ my way to confidently living my life and
knowing that although I may not be where I want to be, I am no longer where I
used to be. I am a better, more confident person who is taking things one step
at a time.
N.B: I am not
in any way advocating that you develop a ‘self’- centred’ attitude but if like
me, you have spent many years living life without much confidence, then I’m
sure you will understand and appreciate my reasons for writing this post.
I think that to be able
to possess these qualities, yet remain humble and still have a ‘servant’s heart’,
is something I not only desire but also strive towards.
That’s why the below
scripture always stays at my forefront to help keep me in check:
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility value others above yourself, not looking only to your own
interests, but also to the interests of others. In your relationships with one
another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” – Phil 2: 3-5
I encourage you to watch the below video of ‘How to become/gain
confidence’ as a follow on from this blog post and where I share vital tips that
I have learnt on this journey so far.
As usual I would love to hear your thoughts on this so
please feel free to comment below.
Until next time, remember “It’s one step at a time to
becoming confident”.
Love you guys,
Antoinette
PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK BELOW TO WATCH THE ACCOMPANYING VLOG
Scriptures for Gaining Confidence &
Living Confidently
(Words of Affirmation)
Below are a list of 12 scriptures I use to affirm myself
in the word of God. I've found this to be very effective, because His words
are alive and active. So as you meditate on them and speak them out, they'll
actively be working in and through you; helping you live life more confidently.
At the end of June, my husband and I travelled to the
beautiful Greek island of Zakynthos (Zante) to celebrate our wedding
anniversary. However, this was not the only thing we celebrated because as you
will see in the video below, I have truly come a long way in overcoming my body
confidence issues and how I see myself.
I know a lot of people have not been able to relate to my
journey, because they find it odd for a naturally thin person to dislike their
body, let alone have issues with it. However, as I have previously stated, the
problem really is not in the size or shape of our bodies, but in the mentality
we have about it.
I have often used my previous travel vlogs to document how I
am getting on in my ‘journey’, but this vlog was definitely different for me,
because I feel this year the veil had finally been lifted.
Following on from my last blog post ‘Love Thyself’ [click here if you have not already read it] I am no longer self-conscious about my
body, especially in public places like the beach.
Previously, I would get very anxious wearing anything that
would show my size and slightly straighter body frame. I did not enjoy wearing
a swimsuit or bikini without a cover-up or sarong. This was not necessarily for
modesty reasons, but because I hated my body and was overly concerned with what
people thought of it; particularly my thigh area which showed my thinness the
most.
This mind-set was a true prison, joy-killer and just dulled
out the sparkle of life, but thank God for freedom, because not a single
thought of what people may think came into my mind the entire trip and I just
enjoyed living.
Anyhow, we had so much fun, felt rejuvenated and felI in
love with the place I have now tagged ‘a piece of Heaven on earth’.
So here’s a sneak peak into some of what we got up to, the
breathtakingly stunning views we saw and most importantly, scenes of me being
free in who I am and accepting/loving my body regardless of its size; that in itself is heaven for me.
I hope you enjoy viewing our pictures and mini vlog and not
only get inspired for your travels but like me, embrace living a more
‘Confident Life'.
One
of the first and most fundamental things we need to live a confident life, is
to actually ‘Love Ourselves’.
Sounds
simple, but not until I began to see just how far away
from God's idea of what truly loving myself was and the freedom that came with
it, did I realise how little I knew of this love.
I
also saw how my relationships were suffering as a result of this lack of love.
You
see one of the greatest instructions Jesus gave was to “Love your neighbour as you love yourself”* and I had never
really given much thought to the …”as you love yourself” part.
I
didn't question how I was meant to show love to my fellow man, if I did not
truly love myself.
Bottom
line: How was I meant to give something that I did not have within?
I
asked God to teach me how to love myself and it has been a
process through His GRACE, that has not only increased my confidence but has also helped me freely
pour out love to others, because I was doing Love His way; unconditionally.
The
love I am talking about is not the conceited, arrogant ‘self-love’ that is
mainly rooted in self-centeredness. Nor although necessary, is it the nurturing
type of self-love in which emphasis is placed on caring for your well-being.
The
love that I am referring to sees an imperfect person with flaws and still
chooses to love them for who they really are and not what is seen.
I started to love myself like this, which consequently led to me loving my body and
becoming more body confident and comfortable in the frame and figure I had been
blessed with (notice how I now use the word ‘BLESSED’).
Loving
myself was meant to be something that came naturally, but I had allowed
lies and destructive words to stop the flow of something normal from taking
place.
The
layers of hurt, anger, pain and hatred that had built up over time, needed to
be peeled away in order to get to the core of who I really was, so that the
hidden flower could now begin to blossom.
For
years I tried to hide myself, stay in the shadows so I would not be noticed,
because I feared what people thought of me or what comment they would make
next. I became socially awkward and my slight introversion did not help, but
when I changed my focus and started to intentionally disallow people’s thoughts
of me or my body affect me, what I struggled a great deal with became
insignificant.
I
am not saying that I am there yet, but just looking at the above picture taken
on a recent trip, I am reminded of how far I have come.
The
irony is my body is not as snatched and prim and proper as it used to be, as
I
now have deep stretch marks from my pregnancies, a little mum tum and my breasts do
not sit the way they once did. Nevertheless, I love my body and myself a lot
more now than before.
I
am more appreciative of what I have because I now realise that my previous
desire for another body/appearance was just showing my discontent in what God
had said is wonderful.
A
lot a people may not be able to relate to what I am saying, but for the few
that do, I hope this helps you see that ‘Loving Thyself’ is attainable and also
one of the best things you can do for yourself and those around you.
You
need to start loving yourself now, because you have to live with yourself for
the rest of your life. So make your living worthwhile and do it confidently.
DISCLAIMER:
I
am not condemning improving your physical appearance or enhancing your beauty
in whatever form you choose. However, whatever you choose to do, do it from a
place of love not hate.
"Men are anxious to improve their circumstances but are unwilling
to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound." - James Allen
As humans,
we like to be inspired but do not always move past that inspiration because simply put; it
requires self-discipline.
Self-discipline
is probably one of the hardest things to master, as it entails us replacing bad
habits for good and productive ones, which goes against the grain of what we
are used to.
We also do not like talking about it because it shows our weak spots and brings out areas about ourselves that we would rather not deal with.
Nonetheless, I am increasingly finding that the rewards of being self-disciplined can be so great and definitely essential to effective progress.
Do not do what I did and wait until you reach rock bottom before you have no choice but to be forced to change, under circumstances that may not necessarily be pleasant. Make a QUALITY DECISION to
embark upon a more self-disciplined life.
...So if you know the right
thing to do, but still find yourself doing the complete opposite, or you want to
move away from underachieving and mediocrity to living a more fulfilled and
confident life, then click the links below to watch my 2 part videos. You will hear some of my tried and tested methods that can make your life a whole
lot better.
